Two female praise team members, RD and RW, who had been good friends, had an obvious falling out in early summer. Both women were having marital problems already. Our Children’s Minister, who is a friend of RW and her husband, was told by the husband that he had an affair with RD and that he had admitted it to his wife, RW. RD was asked to meet with one of our ministers and another staff member, a meeting in which she denied the affair, only saying repeatedly, “we got too close”. She then accused RW of having an online affair with more than one person and that was the reason that RW and her husband were having marital issues. RD was told in this meeting (in which I was not involved) that she needed to take a break from being on the platform on Sunday morning but could continue to practice (not my choice) and that the situation would be reevaluated in a month or so. We are up against the time in which I have to decide what to do.
I met with RW and asked her about the falling between her and RD. She was very reluctant to address the issue, but when pressed, acknowledged that her husband had admitted an affair with RD to her. She indicated her belief that the affair was over at the time of our meeting. When I asked RW about the “online affairs” that RD accused her of, she indicated that she did have online friends and that RD had actually encouraged that she meet these people face to face and take the relationships to the next level, but insisted that she had not done so. RW was very straightforward in our meeting and I felt as though she was being truthful on all fronts. RW’s husband had also indicated to our Children’s Minister that he was aware of some online relationships that RW had that were causing strain in their marriage, but he gave no indication to the Children’s Minister that these “friendships” were anything more than online. This appears to corroborate RW’s story.
So, do I let RD back on the platform? So far, very few people seem to know about the affair. RD has done some things that make me believe that the affair is not over (or definitely that she is trying to rekindle things if it is), but RD spends a great deal of time attempting to draw attention to the fact that she is going through a terrible divorce and having a hard time financially, emotionally, etc., and has garnered the support and sympathy of many church members. She has portrayed herself as the victim in her divorce when she refused any and all counseling attempts by her husband. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I do not want her back on the platform, but other staff members feel that we should keep her engaged and involved, as God would not cast her aside for her mistakes. I understand that, but what if this all comes out and she is up there singing? If this all comes out, doesn’t that reflect poorly on our praise team as a whole and more importantly couldn't this become an obstacle to worship for some?
I would really appreciate any advice that could be given.