Good morning to all who may be reading this!
God's known as the great potter who molds us and makes us into the image that He wishes for us, but right now I feel that He's more like a blacksmith who's stuck my heart in the flames of shame - shame upon the realization that I'm totally not living as I should - and now He's hammering away on me bending me back into a craft that He can smile over.
I feel the need to be honest, so let me just say that I'm a selfish person. I love people, but only when it means that they'll make me feel good. I don't love with a sacrificial love like Christ. I love my things a LOT!!! (said "things" include my four guitars, my pedal, and my amp right now) I'm always thinking about the next thing I want to get for myself, all in the name of "providing for my ministry" and "having more and better tools for me to make my music with".
I love my things, but Jesus said plainly in black and white that if anyone wishes to follow Him he should sell all He has and give to the poor... wow! That's still sinking in...
God's reminding me that I don't own anything, but all that I have with me here are the things that He has entrusted to me. I ought to be focusing on using what I have in the way that God would want me to use it, and if that means giving it up for someone else in need, so be it!
I feel that I don't have enough in the way of equipment as a musician should have, but I'm starting to realize that if I need it, God wants to provide it. But He won't provide for me everything I need unless I'm willing to let go of my possessions and selfishness. I also feel that I don't make enough money right now, but I keep tithing thinking that this is the only way in which I'm required to give of it. WRONG!!! God says that I am supposed to love sacrificially and that I am to give in reckless generosity... am I doing that now? No. Am I really trusting God and living by faith if I'm not fulfilling this command? NO!
From now on, I want to live in faith and by the richness and fulness of God's relentless blessing, and I don't want to be absorbed in myself and in the things I want to have.
"Change my heart, oh God! Make it ever true. Change my heart, oh God! May I be like You."
Anyone with me?