I'm going through one of those times of personal sifting and winnowing. At this time I am not a part of a worship team. It's been tough because the circumstances are partially of my own making, but it is what it is. There have been precious few moments of what I would call authentic corporate worship and it seems as though the well has dried up at home. At first it was very painful because the people who I leaned on are just not as close as they once were and I missed that intimacy that we had as a team, but as I stated; it is what it is.
But God, our Jesus is amazing! During this time The Spirit has been doing a work in me that I don't believe would have been possible had I still been involved with the team. I think that comfort and familiarity tend to dull our senses to the Spirit. What I mean is that when we are comfortable we depend on our own abilities to navigate the Kingdom and that will never do for a true child of God. I understand that this isn't a new concept, but I've never really grasped it in such a personal way.
The results of this sifting are that my prayer life has become more fulfilling and the Word has become an incredible source of comfort and sustenance. The Bible has once again come alive for me and I look forward to reading and studying it. My times of prayer have become a time of fellowship. Another interesting thing that has happened is that my relationships with others have changed. They have become more mature in nature and two of my friends have become closer brothers in Christ. I've also begun to discern which of my friendships are toxic relationships. I've distanced myself and now am interceding for these friends. This really wasn't the case two years ago when I was comfortable and busy doing "worship". God has taken things away from me, but He's replacing them with something so much better.
The Holy Spirit is molding me and though that can be painful, it is a clear sign that I'm still a child of God and that He still wants to use me. Really not sure where, when or how, but He will reveal it in His sovereign time. All I need to do is trust and obey.
Lately, I've begun to worship at home again. It turns out that the well wasn't dry after all, I just needed to dig a little deeper. The digging wasn't done by me, but I had to be open to the idea. I suppose that there will still times of drought ahead, but it's good
to know that He is faithful even when it's difficult for me to be.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_yQeuo7auw