Waiting On You Lord

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Charles Wolff on January 31, 2012 at 2:06pm

Okay, I see this one has been sitting here for a while, but I like to find things that have zero replies and try to give some sort of feedback, even if it's been a while...

Nicely performed and recorded, the voice is a little warbly, but quite listenable.  A few of the lines here and there feel like they might benefit from thinking about how you sing them, what words are emphasized by holding them out or putting them on high notes.  Fine for a first demo, though.

Hooray, the song is consistent in terms of all being speaking "to" God (referring to God as You rather than switching back and forth with "So we call on Him today..." type lines.  Pet peeve of mine, you pass the first test.

Suggestion - call this one "Breakthrough."  Unless you've already got two or three songs by that name (I see that's your publishing name...)

You might try singing this one from an "I" perspective rather than "We" just to see how that feels... from a congregational singing perspective, I get why you went with "we," but that does give it more of an "expecting an explosion of the Holy Spirit" feel than an "I'm going through a dry time" feel.  Actually, "we" is probably the right way to go with this, but you still might try it the other way, unless it started out as an "I" song and you changed it...

Plus: for a song that doesn't make any / much use of rhyming, this does flow along well.  Usually, I feel like songs that don't have any rhymes just kinda sit there and puddle, but you've done something right here.  I like this...

Minor tweak, should the "so" at the start of the pre-chorus go away?  I think that would strengthen the "but now" connection to the actual chorus.

Overall, good song, well done.

Permalink Reply by William Doney on February 3, 2012 at 8:27pm

hey Charles, really appreciate the honest, in-depth feedback.  i take all your points and will consider in my continued tweaking.  i'm a big stickler on being consistent in the "to" vs. "about" vs "other" in lyrics, though i'm sure i've violated it myself at times!  and like the title suggestion... it's one of those powerful words that really resonates with me, you know?  anyways, thanks again.  your thoughts are much appreciated.   ps. do you have any posted, i would like the opportunity to return the favor!   let me know...  -bill

Permalink Reply by Christopher Shane McKee on January 31, 2012 at 2:23pm

I enjoyed the song very much. Love the chord progression, only, would have used some ' fast fret ' on the strings prior to playing so that the slide wasn't so prevalent. On the other hand,the sound of the slide added a touch of character. I thought the song was well put together, has a great message, and your voice sounded fine. Good job, and God Bless.

Permalink Reply by William Doney on February 3, 2012 at 9:07pm

thanks Christopher, appreciate your honest feedback.  and i hear you about the FastFret :)  definitely will include before recording the final version.  thanks again!   -bill

ps. do you have any songs posted, i would like the opportunity to return the favor!  

Permalink Reply by Linda Achtymichuk on January 31, 2012 at 5:20pm

Hi .... my time on here is sporadic, so I missed this before ...... seems the theme is familiar -- as I also have had the same for quite some time now, so I truly relate to the lyrics :)

After hearing the chorus - which I really really like, it was easier to understand the verses musically and I could hear the other instrumentation in my head - that when collaboration with others is so productive.

Looking forward to hearing the finished product..... and confident that He will lead and guide you in all things, AS WELL AS the changes in this song :) 

Bless you this day 

Permalink Reply by William Doney on February 3, 2012 at 9:08pm

thanks Linda, appreciate you taking the time to listen AND provide some feedback.  i too am looking forward to adding more instrumentation and working with a producer for the final version.  thanks again!

ps. as with the other who reviewed, do you have any songs posted?  i would like the opportunity to return the favor!  

Permalink Reply by Rick Gregory on January 31, 2012 at 10:48pm

Like this song. Good congregational song or personalised by changing the 'we' to 'I'. Sounds like you relaxed into the song in the second half. Would like to hear a full production.

Permalink Reply by William Doney on February 3, 2012 at 9:10pm

thanks Rick for taking the time to both listen and give some comments.  i'm typically a second-half singer, warming up as the song goes on :)   thanks again!

ps. and as with the other who reviewed, do you have aything up here for review?  would like to return the favor! 

Permalink Reply by Rick Gregory on February 4, 2012 at 1:36pm

Hi William,

 

yes I have a song up for review. It's called 'You Are (Holy, Holy). Thanks