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Hi guys

 

I'd love your feedback on a song my wife and I wrote a few weeks ago. We've been singing it in church the last few weeks and people seem to really like it, but I'd love to hear the opinions of other song writers and musicians.

The recording was done during one of our worship services, but, while it sounded great through foldback on the day, on closer listen the vocals are a bit flat in places. 

 

The Well of My Life

by Shaun and Nerida Walker

 

Verse

Like a river of living water

In the belly of my soul

A well, filling up, making me whole

The life of Jesus living and flowing in me

Setting me free

Eternally

 

Chorus

Bringing light to my darkness

Health to my bones

Brining hope to my heart

Restoring my soul

Jesus

You're the well of my life

 

Stirring life in my spirit 

Overflowing in me

Bringing strength in my weakness

Your power in me

Jesus

You're the well of my life

 

Refrain

I drink from your life

I drink from your love

I drink from your faith

I drink from your hope

Jesus

You're the well of my life

 

 

I'd love your thoughts!

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Anyone here? Anyone?
I recently wrote a song about the Living Water too, so I had to check this out.  Love the lyrics!  I thought I could faintly hear some keys in the background, and I wonder if you could make more use of them to add a "watery" flowing quality to go along with the pronounced rhythm of the guitar, bass and drums . . .
Hi Shaun,

My initial thoughts are that I like the last few lines of your chorus ans refrain: " Jesus, You're the well of my life." I think that works well. May it be worth doing a second verse, being that the chorus is longer? The other thing I noticed was at the end of the verse is "setting me free, eternally." The "eternally" doesn't seem to sit well with me, not sure why. But to me, it seems like you could simply repeat "setting me free," rather than using "eternally," it just doesn't seem to quite fit.

On the upside, liked the recording, sounded good!

Love in Christ

Si

A couple thoughts -

 

Since, for most of the song, Jesus is referred to as "you," that line in the first part, "the life of Jesus living and flowing in me" seems slightly miscast - make it "your life, Jesus, living..." just for consistency.

 

The "well" image seems a little mismanaged, as well.  There are references to the well being "inside of me," and other references to the well being in Jesus, that the singer drinks from.  I think the latter image is more scriptural, so you might take a look at some of the lines ("in the belly of my soul" didn't sit well with me anyway) and just make everything consistent in terms of where this "well" exists.  That whole second verse might want reworking to make it more clear that the singer is drinking from Jesus the well, and that while the water is now inside the singer, the well is still external.

 

Didn't listen to the music, so can't comment on that.

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