Grace

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Permalink Reply by Charles Wolff on July 13, 2010 at 1:26pm

A thought or two from the geezer gallery:

That first verse seems quite, umm, intense for this to work as a group "worship" song... I tend to think of worship music as "putting words into the congregation's mouth to help them worship God," and my feeling is that the story you're telling in that first verse is not something a lot of people will be able to relate to.

Also, that first line, "God, what's going on..." - as the first thing I read, the use of "God" there... I wasn't sure if the singer was saying who he's talking to or if it was kind of a swear word. Again, I think the intensity of that first verse reinforced this.

On both verses, the first three lines don't seem like they have a whole lot to do with "grace." While they may be true statements, they don't seem like they set up a situation where "grace" is what is needed.

Chorus, first line, I thing the "the" doesn't belong; just say "I need grace enough to stand"

Chorus, second line, when it says "better man," how is that going to feel for a female singing this song? Again, worship music (for me) is putting words into the mouths of the congregation...

Chorus, last line: "die" isn't really the right word for what the bad times are supposed to do. "Fly" would be better.

However, what I'd really suggest is: start out by thinking about what "grace" really is, what the word really means, and then go through your lyric and test each line: The cliche definition is "Unmerited favor," and using that, the chorus becomes something like, "I need unmerited favor enough to stand, unmerited favor enough to be a better man, unmerited favor enough to cry, unmerited favor enough to let the bad times die." I'm not sure that "grace" is really the thing the singer "needs" in any of those lines... in the first couple, at least, "strength" might be a better word, or "courage," or something. I think I'd suggest really reworking that whole chorus so that it is really and truly about "grace" (by reworking the second half of each line so taht it refers to things that "grace" could actually do for the singer) and then maybe apply that process to the verses as well.

I assume you know that the bridge comes pretty much directly from an old hymn - are you thinking to use the hymn tune there?

Well, okay, more than a couple thoughts. But I think the fundamental problem here is that the song is using the word "grace" to mean things other than "grace."

Hope some of this was helpful...