Would love some feedback on this.......

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I could see this song working in a blended style service that was struggling against more contemporary sounds.  This would be cutting edge in some more traditional churches.  Perhaps with a choir and orchestra?  But it would take some major retooling in the sound and style department to be workable in my church.

Personally, I'd like to hear a more cut-down version of the song.  The drumbeat was overbearing and made it hard to listen to the song.  Also, try singing out a bit more - some of the words were getting lost.

That being said, the pre-chorus built nicely toward the chorus.  All in all, I'd say, "Nice start, but it needs a couple of rewrites."

thanks for the feedback Doug. ..... and I've come to the conclusion that though there are lots of "views", the comments are few and far between and so it definitely does appear, as you commented, that no one looks at anything except their own........  seems somewhat prideful to me....... just saying..

I would love to hear songs done with input from guitar players and interpreted as such..... not being a guitarist myself, I can only hear it in my head.Then not wanting an empty sound, tend to over do it ........ but when I'm playing or leading with acoustic and lead guitars, it is so much fun, to be able to step back and let them shine and always changes the overall sound tremendously.

Every church we've attended & been in worship in, has had a "different flavour" when it comes to their particular style of worship.  

Unfortunately, it has become a focus of what the particular worship leader favours or the congregation is "used to" and the focus has moved onto pleasing them, instead of God.

The people quickly forget that the worship IS NOT for them......... it is for God....

When we strive to please people, it's just a performance...... we should be led by the Holy Spirit. He is more than capable and He knows the Father's heart and what pleases the Father.

Aside from that, I took and cut back the drums and like it much better.... I also brought out through editing, those words that "faded" away --- I'm only dealing with Garageband, so very limited in a lot of ways & always very aware of the "S"'s hissing and sometimes cut them down in volume too much.

Thanks again for taking the time to comment :)

 

I've been absent. A long time. I'm back and trying to go back to the beginning of last year catching up. That included listening to your song. I hope you're still around.

First, I feel your pain about nobody wanting to comment. It's part of why I faded away. I decided to come back and see if I could be part of the solution.

The song had a very retro feel. It felt more like something from 1978 than 2012. I recognize this because I tend to be stuck in those times musically quite often. The song was very mellow. almost too mellow for any typical church service. Maybe a special music situation, or for a very subdued setting, where the quiet and peacefulness of it are virtues. Also, it could be a winner in a home group setting, where the extra intimacy allows less "energetic" songs.

I hope some of this helps. And I hope you pop in to see it.

Linda:  Hi!  I have heard hundreds of praise and worship songs.  I must say you have the juice!  Your voice is first class and this song is wonderful.  Needs just a touch of tuning up the lyrics, but it is 90% done... Wonderful!   It sends chills down my spine:)  I AM going now to listen again.  Do you have a cd out?  Lenny Smith Visit me at www.greatcomfortrecords.com and email me, please.

I am going to listen to this tomorrow. But, I do pray that we are charitable with our time and suggestions. We are brothers and sisters in Christ, and just putting these songs out there for comment, advice, and encouragement is a very personal and trusting thing. I also hope that everyone is wise and is eventually getting their songs registered with BMI, ASCAP, or SESAC. I am a BMI writer, even though I have only started writing again. But, what a great community for songwriting advice and even collaboration. There should be tons of input between us all.

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