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Broken
Take my life / To You I give
Take it all / For You I live
Be my hands / Be my feet / Be my song / Oh so sweet
Take me Lord make me new
Shape me Lord to be like You
Break me Lord ‘till none remains
I bear my heart take my shame
Make our fears and sorrows cease / Take our strife and give release
For You gave Your all for us / So make us small as You increase
Take us weak with imperfections / Make in us a bright reflection
Of the love You gave so freely / Through the cross and resurrection
Take our foolishness and pride/ And take the times we know we’ve lied
About how much You’re in our lives/ Until our hearts in You abide
To You we give our lives we pray / Oh let us not be led astray
Help us hide you in our hearts / So we might live with you (one day)
Take me Lord make me new
Shape me Lord to be like You
Break me Lord ‘till none remains
I bear my heart take my shame
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Bizzy Bender on -
I am not the best when it comes to giving feedback on lyrics alone and I would love to hear the song as a song. You certainly have a strong rhyming scheme going on which I am not a huge fan of. I tend to like to hear some rhyme in a song and more poetry. That being said there is nothing that jumps out at me as being wrong or not good. Does your computer have any means of recording? Garageband? or even a camera, you could make a homemade video.
peace
Bizzy -
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Permalink Reply by JORN on -
I'm working on that. I have a recording of the song someone did for me but it is a bit hokey. I have to figure out how to get it into a format that I can uplaod.
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Permalink Reply by Bizzy Bender on
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ps you might want to think of a new title or re write a chorus to contain your title
it is inferred but it is such a strong word I would like to find it in your song as well -
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Permalink Reply by JORN on
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This is one of the first songs I wrote before I started looking into song structure and format. I realize now that it is lacking but it is still from the heart. All of the songs I've written have come out of my quiet time which somehow evolves into a worship time. This particular song just came out of a desire to strip away all the "stuff" keeping me from growing closer in my walk with the Lord.
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Permalink Reply by Christopher Anthony Dresbach on -
This is good overall. You might change "Break me, Lord, 'til none remains" to "Break me, Lord, 'til no sin remains". The listener may wonder what this "none" is referring to although God may know exactly what that "none" is. You might also change "To You we give our lives we pray/ Oh, let us not be led astray" to "To You we give our lives and pray/ Oh, let us not be led astray". I'm glad you shared it. There are some good thoughts here.
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