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Watched this interview with Matt Redman recently about worship songs not being suitable for all men, as some men struggle to sing love songs to Jesus. Have a watch and let me know if you agree or disagree with it, and why.

Tags: blokes, matt, redman, songs, worship

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I lead worship regularly with a group of outdoorsmen and their families. Because of these are rather "rugged" and primarily unchurched men, I try to focus on songs describing God's majesty and power. We also stick pretty heavily on focusing on God's creation.

Though I don't avoid them, I limit the number of songs that are "flowery" (I liked that Aram :)). I also limit the number of songs talking about being lost. Most men are unable to admit when they're lost until they're truly broken.
I totally agree with Mr. Redman. If you look at a lot of the music coming from more "charismatic" sources (like Jesus Culture, etc.) the level of "Jesus as my boyfriend" lyrics is going up. I think this is a horrible trend. The last thing we need as a church is to confuse romantic love and agape love. They are not the same. Though I have both for my wife, I do not have romantic feelings for Jesus. My love for God is the power in my love, the source of it, but he is not my boyfriend.

I recently heard a song from an artist that has the phrase, "I want to be your lover." Now I can figure out what she means, but at the same time you have to be mindful of word usage and how language is interpreted. If I said that to a person, they wouldn't think that I mean, "I want to pursue a deep and meaningful relationship based on unconditional love." It's no small wonder why blokey blokes don't want to come to church.

As worship leaders I think it's high time that we started rounding out the message we sing. Can we use flowery lyrics? Yes. Should all of our songs be that way? No. We would be quick to criticize a pastor that only preached about one aspect of God, so it only makes sense that we would hold ourselves to that same standard.
This gave me much food for thought. As a female worship leader, I need to give these comments much consideration. Images that help women connect with God (referring to love, relationship, intimacy) might not be as helpful to men. Thanks for posting this!
I was at a retreat a few months ago that the men went one weekend and the ladies went the next weekend. When my wife came home we discussed the music and it was surprising the different styles and songs that were used. The guys theme song for the weekend was "What if God's People Prayed" and they really rocked it out. The ladies had a theme song that was more flowing and contemplative in style. It would not have worked to switch those around.
I was talking to my husband recently about the reactions of the worshippers in our church. Only a couple of them raise their hands whilst quite a large majority stand with no outward expression of what they're feeling towards a particular song. This means we're struggling to gauge how the congregation feel towards the songs ~ are they connecting with God in their hearts or are they just going through the motions - clapping in the right places, etc.
My husband said that although he enjoys the songs and thinks about the words he is singing, he will never be a 'happy-clapper' with regards to worship music (there's a challenge for you, Lord!!!). I don't think it's his gender that is affecting his attitude towards worship music as I do know some blokes who really get stuck in and there are some women who never engage and clearly dislike worship songs, regardless of the song type or words.
We pray regularly for our congregation to really enter into worship in whatever way they can do ~ man looks at the outward, God looks at the heart. The video clip is definately food for thought though, thanks for posting it Phil :)
No probs :-)
I think you also have to consider that Matt was 'LED' into that topic, it was suggested by someone else and he was responing to it. It might very well be that some 'blokes' have an issue. However, I do not know many men in my church who are ashamed to say they I Love You in worship to the Lord. I ceretanly am not to proud to be overheard saying I Love You. I also am not to proud to lift my hands, or get on my knees. Yes, there are probaly many people who are uncomfortable with these things in worship. In my opinion...those 'blokes' need a fire lit under thier arses. We do not need to 'cater' or 'cave in' to peoples conservatism and rigidity. Instead we need to BE vivid examples...lead. We need to be examples that it IS OK to let go, with all our heart and soul in worship. I thank God that I have a Pastor who is an excellent example of worship, unashamed, like a child before the Lord.

Mark 10:15 (New King James Version)
15 Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.”
I can see the point. I never had a problem with singing about His beauty. The percentage of men who sing is always going to be less. I suppose we could hoist an ale to the King and get a few more of the lads to grunt out their admiration, but . . .
What is a "Bloke" just so I know exactly what we are talking about here? Is it a British thing or am I just out of the loop?
Yes mate, it is a british thing. "a guy". We have to remember that even in the US, there are some communities or families that can hardly even get the men to 'go' to church, and they have many more women than men. This might also be true in the UK. I will have to ask my pals accross the pond.
agree. Read the book "Why Men Leave Church"...there's a lot of truth in it.......but it's also a matter of "growth" in one's spirituality......I didn't "grow up" in church, yet now I'm leading worship. I might have been uncomfortable myself when I first started attending church, singing "You are so beautiful Lord, and I love You so".......but as I matured in my relationship to God, those are definitely words that I can relate saying to Him, as I know I'm not singing/speaking about physical attributes, which in "human" terms, are what those kinds of words are usually associated with...
I find there to be frightfully few "Jesus is my boyfriend" songs, unless we have our mindset fixated on the sexual romantic type of love. I understand there are some that maybe push the boundary a little bit, but it is usually an arbitrary line we ourselves draw in the sand. so, yeah you've got to try your best to get a feel for the congregation you are leading. but when we sing lyrics like "more intimate than lovers" that is not romanticizing Jesus, it is pointing to the fact that a pure agape love relationship with Christ is a deeper kind of intimacy than anything in th earthly eros sexual realm could ever hope to come close to. When we sing "Jesus, lover of my soul" it is a love on a spiritual level we speak of. But I get the angst with the difference between "I want to be a lover of God" and "I want to be God's lover." If anything our words should elevate love for God above romantic love where it belongs, not pull love for God down to the level of romantic love. I feel like most worship songs, even those that employ familiar earthly terms do that. But again, we have to be sensitive to those that don't live there.

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