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Should my Church's Praise and Worship Leader be benched?????
My Church has a Praise and Worship Leader who has currently left his wife for a woman he has been cheating on his wife with for 2 years of their marriage. He has lied to the whole Church Family and told us all that His wife was the Adultress. He and his wife have been seperated for 16 months but he won't give his wife a divorce. He lives with his mistress who is not divorced and pregnant. He has also lost his job for sending sexual natured text messages to a female intern at his office. Should this man be allowed to continue to lead Praise and Worship? Is it not one of his duites to "Lead By Example?"
When replying please let me know where you are from and what Church you are a member of.
Thank you and God Bless You All!!!!!!!!!!!!
When replying please let me know where you are from and what Church you are a member of.
Thank you and God Bless You All!!!!!!!!!!!!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by David Prentice on -
I reside in Santa Rosa, California. I am an ordained Southern Baptist minister. To balance out my perspective, I would also have you know that I was also a credentialed Foursquare minister. I say this because SBC has a rep for being legalist. The Pharisees were letter of the law guys and Jesus was an intent of the law guy. I'm an intent guy. I believe that God's ultimate goal is the reconciliation between sinful man and a sinless God. This happens when look to God and say, "I'm sorry...I blew it ... please forgive me and help me to get it right.
I am saddened by your news. I hate to say it, but your story isn't all that unusual. In my current ministry, I had a leader who we had to remove under similar circumstances. Paul addressed this issue in Corinithians. He said they had to be removed. He spoke of turning them over to Satan in the hopes that the flesh would die & the spirit saved. He later rebuked the Corinthians because the guy had repented and they had failed to restore him to the fellowship.
You see, we remove them because in their current enviornment their actions tell us that what they are doing is fine with them. Our silence will only give tacet approval to that line of thinking. We must remove them in the hope that being outside the fellowship will give them an opportunity for repentance and restoration. Otherwise, how do we explain to the body our inaction....what does it tell them?
It's one thing to struggle with sin. It's another thing to be willing to live in it before the saints like Abselom on the roof of David's palace. God is all about repentance and restoration. Restoration is the ultimate goal. Not necessarily to his current facet of ministry, but restoration to Christ and the body of believers.
Removal is an act of love. We all sin. But we should all strive to get better. We should never look down our noses at those who fail & fall. We must never rejoice at a brothers downfall. It has been my experience that God allows us to sleep in the bed we make for ourselves, meaning live with the repercussions of our choices in the hope that we'll see that we're better off doing things God's way instead of ours. After all, isn't that pretty much what sin is? "We did it our way when we should've done it his way".
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Permalink Reply by Peter Goh on -
Hi pastor, I like your balanced perspective on repentance and restoration very much. Yes I truly believe that restoration is the ultimate goal and the church needs spiritual and mature leaders like you to restore them with firmness and gentleness. Galatians 6:1 & 2. Really blessed by your input.
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Permalink Reply by Laura Landers on
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Thank you, David Prentice, for your posting here. God bless you!
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Permalink Reply by Chip Jenkins on -
Our church faced a simular situation where our worship leader was in an adultress situation and was immediatly "benched" once it was found out. and what church and where i'm from is not relevent in my opnion sin is sin and an unrepentant sinner should not be in a postion of leadership in any church.
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Permalink Reply by Junjie on -
And after you bench this leader, make sure you also tell him who should he ever contact (maybe one of your church deacons) when he repents. And start planning out his restoration process, because the God who started a good work in him will bring it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Phil 1:6). :)
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I am glad you mentioned this, Junjie.
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Permalink Reply by Kevin Olmore on -
Benched is a mild word in this context. Disfellowshipped would be more accurate of a term to use in this situation. I belong to a home fellowship. Church discipline is universal and must be carried out for a healthy church body.
Read 1 Corinthians chapter 5 (esp. verse 11). 'Expel the immoral brother'. Restoration can be dealt with later... but that will be from his repentance. For now, obey the Word and disfellowship this individual.
Praying for you.
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Permalink Reply by Rick Cogbill on
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Justme, you already know where we're from or what church we attend; all you have to do is click on our picture for that information. You, however, have chosen not to put much information down about yourself, and perhaps you have reason to do so. But it does make your question seem - how shall I say it? - "questionable?"
If the situation you've described is common knowledge and confirmable, then of course the leader should step aside. Unless you subscribe to a form of the Bible I haven't read yet, I would think this a pretty clear situation.
After all, we're talking about a person in leadership, and the Bible clearly states that "let not many of you become teachers", for those who do will incur a stricter judgement. In other words, as Jesus said in Luke chapter 12: From everyone to whom much has been given, much will be required; and from one to whom much has been entrusted, even more will be demanded.
I'm sorry if I appear a bit cold here; David's answer above is much more gracious and instructive. I guess I'm just wondering why you have posed your question as you have. Maybe some more information about yourself would help.
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Permalink Reply by Tim Harmer on -
I cannot truly understand why Senoir leadership in any Church would allow a leader in the cleaners ministry to continue in his leadership position if this story is true?
Let alone the position of worship leadership... he must be a great leader to be kept on while doing what he is accused of.
This question cannot be a serious one????
Or are we a little backwards here in Aussie...
Blessings..
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"This question cannot be a serious one????"
That was my thought, Tim. And no, you're not a little backwards in Aussie!
To ask this question (which to us seems so obvious) and not say who you are (and also to want to know who everyone else is) suggests three things to me:
1 - This is a bogus question just to stir up the pot - kind of like spam
2 - This situation really exists, but it's been kept secret or it's not provable. Therefore the poster doesn't want others from his/her own church to see it, in case the whole thing blows up and he/she gets blamed for it. If this is true, this church is about to go through some deep waters. By wanting to know who is posting replies, this person is afraid that others from their church will figure out what's going on and post biased responses. Messy, messy, messy...
3 - The poster is really the person doing the cheating and wants either a) confirmation that what he/she is doing is wrong and they should confess or b) reassurance that this kind of behavior is really okay in today's culture, e.g. God's word is adaptable to our own lusts and desires.
Justme, maybe you could give us a clue. This forum is a great place for finding advice for those who are really seeking it.
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Permalink Reply by justme on -
Yes the question is serious and NO it's not spam nor am I the cheater, but I will be gald to give you his name and Church address if you want to check it out yourself. How's that for a clue BUDDY!!!!!
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Hi Justme, and thanks for adding some clarification to your post.
It seems you have taken offence at what has been said here by myself and others, but I think your initial approach brought that on, albeit unwittingly. My appologies for wounding your Spirit in what must be an already difficult time for you, but I can safely say that the majority of the folks who post here regularly do so out of a sincere desire to help the body of Christ move forward. It's just important to be as clear as possible so that we know where we're heading.
No, I don't need names and addresses - God knows that. From what you've now described, it certainly sounds like some very serious sin in the church. I don't know what your position of influence is at this point, but from experiance I can tell you that if the church leadership is not willing to deal with this, then you're probably not going to get far.
Not that your shouldn't try, but be prepared for a difficult jouney. I would suggest much prayer and grace along with firmness of resolve. In the past, I have done battle at the highest levels of a denominational organization, and I can tell you right now that I did not win - the enemy did.
Yes, the truth needs to be told. Be sure you have your facts straight, your spirit right, and the support of key people around you. Take care.
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