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Should my Church's Praise and Worship Leader be benched?????
My Church has a Praise and Worship Leader who has currently left his wife for a woman he has been cheating on his wife with for 2 years of their marriage. He has lied to the whole Church Family and told us all that His wife was the Adultress. He and his wife have been seperated for 16 months but he won't give his wife a divorce. He lives with his mistress who is not divorced and pregnant. He has also lost his job for sending sexual natured text messages to a female intern at his office. Should this man be allowed to continue to lead Praise and Worship? Is it not one of his duites to "Lead By Example?"
When replying please let me know where you are from and what Church you are a member of.
Thank you and God Bless You All!!!!!!!!!!!!
When replying please let me know where you are from and what Church you are a member of.
Thank you and God Bless You All!!!!!!!!!!!!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by justme on -
Tim,
Yes this is for real. He is only kept on because he can sing very well and draws the money in that the Pastor LOVES!!!!! The Pastor is a money hungry man, he lives more in the flesh than in the Spirit. The Church members are affraid to call him down on this because thet are affraid of his wrath. Even the Church Elders aren't saying anything to the Pastor. They are affraid too. Thing is, I AM NOT AFFRAIR!!!! The truth needs to be told so that the healing and restoration processes can begin. That way the Church can start a new hopefully!!!!
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Permalink Reply by daniel cash on -
I think that you may need to begin shopping for another church. If the structure is that disfunctional or corrupt, it is in critical condition and quite possibly circling the drain. There are many more churches out there that are at least slightly healthier than this one.
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Permalink Reply by Charles Wolff on -
As always, Rick has already said a lot of what I think (he just says it in a lot less words).. I do understand why justme might want to be anonymous about this - maybe the church is trying to decide what to do about this situation right now and justme would like some opinions but doesn't want to do anything that would identify the people involved (or identify justme).
I'll start off by mentioning that three of the most influential people in my spiritual life went through something like this - at the church where I became a Christian, the husband and wife were co-pastors, and at some point (years later) the husband got caught cheating with a soprano from the choir. They decided to split up, and the wife stayed on as pastor (she's still there, 30+ years later, and he's the pastor of a small church a few hundred miles away), but she was very open with the congregation at the time... the youth minister when I was in high school also got caught cheating (and, tactical error on his part: he had married the pastor's daughter). As far as I can tell he has disappeared from sight entirely. And at the church where my wife and I met, the pastor and his wife were "falling apart." He resigned as pastor before they split up, but, again, he didn't try to hide what was going on. And when my wife and I got married a few years later, we asked him to perform the ceremony (we were at a different church at the time, and it was kinda hard explaining to the pastor there why we were bringing in a real estate agent to perform the ceremony, but...) If there's anything to be learned from these stories, it's that trying to carry on ministering while "carrying on" otherwise generally does not work out.
Okay, anyway: in this situation, yes, I think this worship leader should be "benched," and not just because of the "adultery" situation. It sounds to me like this person has the attitude that "I am the worship leader, it's all about me, we can't have church without me, so I cannot step aside" and I think it's important that this little misconception be cleared up right away.
You don't have to go into all the icky details, but the congregation should be told, "Brian is going through some personal things right now, so he's going to take some time off as worship leader.." Don't try to hide the truth by blaming it on having hurt his ankle in a skiing accident so he can't use his wah-wah pedal... be honest. (musical interlude: everybody join me in twelve choruses of "Humble Thyself in the Sight of the Lord") This "it's all about me" attitude affects the whole church (and especially the members of the worship band), and it can just kill the whole spirit of the church. God will provide someone to take the leadership role, and if the music isn't as good as it was with "Brian" in charge, well, maybe it's not about the music.
I am from a United Methodist Church in Phoenix, Arizona. But maybe you knew that already...
Charles
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Permalink Reply by Laura Landers on
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Charles, I particularly like your musical interlude of "twelve choruses of 'Humble Thyself in the Sight of the Lord.'" :)
Seriously, I am praying for the people going through this, including the instigator of this discussion called "justme."
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Permalink Reply by justme on
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Laura,
Just so you know, I am not an instigator, and who are "YOU" to judge! I lost my Church because of this mess within it. I can't Worship in a Church who's Pastor believes that all this is ok and all is well because of Grace. I have found through all this mess that my Pastor can talk the talk, but can't walk the walk. It all depresses me.
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Permalink Reply by justme on
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Charles,
Thank you for your help, but NO the Church is not doing anything abot this situation. That is the hole reason for looking for oponions, so that maybe my Pastor will see what type of so called Spiritual Message he has been sending to the Church members. I don't feel that it is a good one by any means. His statement a few weeks back when asked about this was, the nam is saved by Grace end of story! It all makes me very sad!!! Maybe when I bring these messages to the Church's head Pastor, maybe a change will come and restoration begin!!!!!
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Permalink Reply by David Prentice on -
Justme,
I sense you pain and frustration. I've been there myself. I remember, as a new christian, I was witness to a church split. It was ugly and hard to understand. I would read my bible and then observe different members of the congregation in action and wonder why their words and actions failed to align themselves with the word.
Since you have expanded your position since my initial reply it has become clear that this goes way beyond the moral failure of the worship leader. To a great degree, this is about the spiritual failure of church leadership to align itself with the word.
Jesus said that you cannot serve two masters. I can say, as a pastor myself, I often am in the position where I have to tell people what "they need to hear" and not what "they want to hear". What we want to hear maintains the status quo and what we need to hear will help us grow. (wow...that rhymes too!) Your pastor cannot serve Christ and the church coffers at the same time. The reality of the situation is this: Our sick little secrets keep us in bondage and while they are secret they hold an amazing degree of power over us. If you don't think so, watch how much leadership struggles in their attempt to keep this under raps!
You want more reality, try this one on for size:
Numbers 32:23-
But if you fail to do this, you will be sinning against the LORD; and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.
In your leaderships vain attempt to keep this out of the public eye, here's how i see this playing itself out:
1) The congregation will find out and those tithers, who know know what the bible says to do will leave. Because, they will not just see this as a moral failure on the worship leaders part, they will moreso see it as a spiritual failure on the pastors part.
2) Word will get around in the christian community and many will avoid your fellowship like the plague because that is exactly what you have ... sin and it spreads because
leadership has said by their inaction that adultery is acceptable if you're high enough up on the church ministry food chain.
3) Tithes will go down as a result of this and so the thing the pastor was trying to avoid
happened anyway. Chances are good that the pastor will be removed either the church
membership or if they have a denominational cover, by the higher ups within the
denomination.
Job 3:25 - What I always feared has happened to me.What I dreaded has come true.
Here's the questions I have for you:
1- If church leadership maintains it's position, unrepentant, how can you justify remaining under their leadership?
2- Do you have the courage of your convictions to confront the pastor? (perhaps even show him this email?)
3- If you leave this fellowship will you have ability to resist the urge to gossip about it
others?
4- Do you have the capacity, in spite of the failure of men, to continue to follow Christ with a fervent continued passion?
For that last question, I hope the answer is yes. We don't follow men ... we follow Christ. I want you to remember that just because I stand on the other side of that pulpit, I man, no better than you and am just as prone to fail as the next guy. My favorite prayer is "God ... save me from myself." You see, if i'm left to my own devices, I'll screw it up every time. It sounds like that's what leadership has done ... left God out of the mix.
Pray on it & see what God has to sat on the subject. After all ... His opinion is the only one that really matters.
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Permalink Reply by daniel cash on
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Dude/Dudette, I think she just meant "the person who started the discussion thread." Chillax :)
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Permalink Reply by Sheelagh Paterson on -
Rick I agree - made me feel uncomfortable to have this church's business put online....I do sympathise with the position the team and church find themselves in, but is this the correct place to air it? :-/
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Permalink Reply by Ken Trinka on -
Did he though? By checking his info we learn he's from Charlotte, NC but thats about it.
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Permalink Reply by daniel cash on
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If it makes you feel better, Rick, I'll add, "Hang'em high!" Only kidding of course. So I guess it doesn't really make you feel better at all...
>Tim Harmer: I also hear that your toilets flush backwards.
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Permalink Reply by Mark Barlow on
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I absolutely agree that we should be loving and pursue his restoration, however it is inconceivable that he should be in any kind of ministry at the moment. Paul was quite clear to the Corinthians that we need to deal with sexual sin firmly. No compromise in the kingdom, it is a slippery slope.
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