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Santa Claus in a Christian home
My wife and I have recently had a baby (well she did all the work but you know what I mean). We're very excited but as a new generation emerges, we have to plan on what traditions to leave out, keep in place, and/or introduce in our family while our child(ren) is growing up. Christmas is rapidly approaching and as she will be too young to remember this one, we do want to have some idea in place as to what we will be doing in future Christmases. With this in mind, I've been thinking about the Santa Claus bit and feel kind of torn between continuing the tradition of Santa in Christmas or halting it alltogether. Jesus will be the main focus of Christmas, but the more I think about Santa, the more he seems an empty tradition with a good idea behind it (able to keep the good idea by upholding Jesus' teachings and values). Now I grew up with Santa and it was fun but I somehow knew all along that he never existed so when I found out, it didn't bother me at all. But when I think about it more and more, I mostly see Santa as a lie we tell kids to keep them in line. "You better clean your room, or Santa won't come. You better stop hitting your sister or Santa will leave coals in your stocking or won't give you what you want for Christmas." Viewing Santa in this way makes Santa seem to me more like a puppet parents use to get what they want instead of a fun tradition about teaching others to give. So instead of teaching others to be selfless, Santa is being used to allow parents to be selfish. More juvenile than productive in my opinion. I am not opposed to leaving Santa as a tradition to promote child-like wonder and imagination but I don't want to use him the wrong way in the way I raise my child(ren). So for those who have raised children, what were the decisions you made when creating a family-oriented Christmas tradition? Any bits of advice for a fellow disciple of Christ that just became a father? Thanks!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Toni on -
We always told our kids that Santa wasn't real, and it was just a bit of fun. We had to deal with angry parents a couple of times when our children told theirs he wasn't real and the parents then began to insist that he was, all the while having been caught out lying.
Would do the same again.
I think it's fine to enjoy as a bit of family fun (we had pillowcases with presents in at the end of the bed up until I was about 12) but there was never the determined falsehood that Santa was real. A tradition one can enjoy, all the while knowing it's pretense.
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Permalink Reply by SeraphimRenegade on -
Thanks for your response, Toni. Definitely great input that I'll fully consider. If we don't raise our children with the belief in Santa, we'll make sure not to 'spoil' it for anyone else (and hopefully save us an earful from angry parents in the process). But I do like the idea of keeping Santa in fun and just confirming that Santa isn't real the whole way through. I do enjoy the stories and I feel it provokes a certain part of the imagination from children. Mainly, I just want to make sure that I don't to use Santa to my advantage as a parent, and I don't want to lie to my kids and have to reveal the truth later.
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Permalink Reply by Toni on
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Thanks. I didn't comment on using Santa for emotional blackmail because such behaviour is so obviously aberrant that it seemed un-necessary.
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Permalink Reply by Stevo on -
Toni - same in our family. We really got some angry parents over it. I found it ironic that the parents essentially called us up and said, "we're angry at you for uncovering our little scam on the kids. we can't let your kids play with ours if you don't tell your kids to help us keep this little secret. by the way, we'll see you at church this week." I just couldn't tell my kids a lie like that.
Many folks feel that it's a rather harmless game, but I think it's pretty ridiculous. I remember when I found out that he wasn't real - I was pretty sad about it.
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Permalink Reply by Aaron Amico on -
roger that.....i dont have kids yet, but thats exactly what i would do too. whats the point in lying to your kids just so they will be hurt and disappointed later? nothing.
though i would probably tell my kids to not say anything to other kids.....informing my own children that others do not yet know the secret. to possibly avoid unnecessary confrontations.
but if your family family knows that these traditions are just that.....holiday tradition, then who cares. the main focus is celebrating the birth of the Savior and second, spending time with family and making wonderful memories together.
im also a fan of the christmas tree too.....i just love the way it fills the house with that natural pine smell. its heavenly.
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Permalink Reply by Cory Zipperle on -
My parents took a slightly different approach. Jesus was always known as the reason for the season. However, they let us believe in Santa without confirming or denying his existence. Us kids pretty much figured it out on our own, there wasn't a lot of drama.
If my wife and I ever have kids, we probably will take Toni's approach. Perhaps taking things a step further and talking to them about the real St. Nicholas.
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Permalink Reply by Daniel Read on -
I've known families who have told their kids that Santa wasn't real all along, and it seems to have worked out fine for them. As for us, three of our kids still "believe in Santa," though our oldest now knows the truth. I think it's perfectly OK either way.
We've certainly not being using Santa as a way of "keeping the kids in line", though, and I'd agree that if that was all it was it would be pretty rotten!
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Permalink Reply by Charles Wolff on -
Well, it certainly seems like you as parents have the choice how you're going to "use" Santa and can avoid that punishment / manipulation stuff, which I think is good. By the way, I don't know how hard it is to find a copy online or elsewhere, but if you can find a copy of the short story "Nackles" by Curt Clark (Donald Westlake), do so :-) - http://violentworldofparker.com/?p=2688
With the caveat that I have never raised children myself, though, I will say that it's a relatively harmless "untruth," and if you decide NOT to include it in your family celebration, it will be something that your kids feel "left out" about when they get into school. Given that there will probably be lots of other things that "all the other kids are doing" that your kids won't be allowed to do over the years, I would suggest going along with Santa Claus.
Charles
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Permalink Reply by SeraphimRenegade on
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Thanks for the reference to the short story, Charles. I'll check it out for sure. And great point about Santa in public schools with the children's participation. We'll most likely enter our kids into public school and we'll definitely survey the participation factor in our decision now. I hadn't thought of that yet. Looking back, I always felt bad for the children whose beliefs demanded that they do not participate in a certain event or custom. At times some of the children seemed like they had to refuse to participate when they wanted nothing more than to be involved as the other children were.
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Permalink Reply by Patti Black on -
Because of how seriously devastated I was at learning that Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc were only "pretend", I went through a time of questioning whether Jesus wasn't just one more of those myths from my parents.
So, my husband and I decided we would not lie to our kids about such things and risk losing credibility about spiritual truth. We told them that Santa was a really fun custom that many families enjoyed. We told them that they could have fun pretending about Santa if they wanted. We urged them not to tell their friends, but leave that up to their parents. Now that they are teens, they tell me they really appreciated our honesty, and they never spoiled it for their friends. They tell us Christmas was still a marvelous and miraculous and exciting holiday.
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Permalink Reply by Lorraine Doswell on -
That's interesting, what you say about thinking Jesus was myth too. I was brought up in a Christian family and went to Christian school, but it hurts when I meet people I went to school with and they say things like 'Do you still go to church then, or, you still don't believe in that mumbo jumbo do you.........sorry off subject - another discussion.
I can remember very vividly my time many years ago when I believed in Santa. I remember the smells, the funny feeling I got when I went to bed on Christmas Eve, I even can remember 'hearing' the sleighbells (how do you spell it).
I brought my children up to believe there was a Santa, because of how special it had felt to me, but never used Santa as a way to keep them in line - I'm not sure if that works anyway. Having said that, the true meaning of Christmas always came first and formost, and it still does.
I think whatever you decide will be absolutely fine, the choice is yours. I think your child(ren) are very blessed to have such caring parents, and that is what is most important.
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Permalink Reply by SeraphimRenegade on
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Thank you all for your great responses! This is helping to shape the outcome of Santa in our family and I will use your stories and wisdom heavily. My wife and I have a good deal to discuss but I feel a complete resolution is near. I will post an update shortly for those interested in the outcome. God bless you all!
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