I reworked this as per Charles critique.

Don't know if it will make this song sound more modern

I made some changes

I brought back the strings in the mix

I added some drum kicks

I made it faster

I did try to sing it on the downbeat, as Charles mentioned, as I (rest) then sing, but I seem to be married to that. So I added a dist guitar to give it a more definite feel. Not sure if this hurts or helps

This is the remixed version

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13614218

But what I am wondering now is lyrically, should this be "On The Holy Mountain", but instead be re-worked to say  "Take me to the mountain".

Just a thought

What do you think?

here are the present lyrics

.

On The Holy Mountain                       

Verse 1

How I’m longing to see the day

Where the wolf and the lamb will stay

Where the goat and the leopard lay

And a child shall lead them

 

Verse 2

There the cow and the bear will graze

Ox and lions are eating hay

How with them an infant plays

For no harm shall seize them

 

CHORUS

On the Holy Mountain of the Lord

On the Holy Mountain of the Lord

Nothing will harm

Nothing destroyed

On the Holy Mountain of the Lord

 

Verse 3

When the world is as it should be

When all nature will live in peace

When all men fall on bended knee

Glorious His Kingdom

CHORUS

 

BRIDGE

The earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Lord

As waters cover the sea

A banner for humanity, every nation will rally

Jesus Messiah, Root of Jesse

 

Isaiah 11:6-10

By the way if you want to compare, this is the original song link

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13554162

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Okay, somewhere below this message there is an MP3 that I put together for a couple purposes...

I made the backing track with Band In a Box, and the thing I want to mention about that is that it took me under fifteen minutes to create the whole backing track, using one of the BIAB styles (this one is supposed to sound sorta like the Eagles).  So just... if it's taking you more than 15 minutes to put your own MIDI tracks together, you might want to look into BIAB.  It's a couple hundred bucks, but, like I said, it took less than 15 minutes to put this together, and if you're going to do everything in MIDI anyway, it's a really handy tool, I think...

I also "shifted the beat" on the verse parts so you could hear what I was talking about.  This is a trick I learned years ago for taking hymn tunes and making them sound more, umm, modern; I applied it to "Hallelujah, What a Savior" and it came out sounding like a James Taylor song.  Seriously.  I moved this down a couple steps (to the key of A) and I know that my singing isn't great, but I didn't spend a lot of time on the vocal either.  And I made a couple minor lyric changes and I adjusted some of the lines in the bridge so that words like "Jesse" fit the rhythm.

Anyway... if we did this song at our church, this is about what it would end up sounding like.  Do as you please with it.

Attachments:

wow

thanks

I can't believe it took you 15 minutes

I work on my songs for many, many hours, making the back tracks

I will be buying this BIAB

Thanks for the info and for taking the time to show me via the mp3

Blessings

ang :)

Well, I suggested BIAB because the original demo sounded just like it was done with BIAB, and it's a tool that lets me put together a backing track in 15 minutes, and Angela said that she was spending hours doing hers manually, track by track.  So I suggested it simply as a way to save time == record more songs.

Yeah, it would be lovely if we all had real bands and the equipment to make great recordings of real musicians playing our songs.  But we don't all have that, and in this case, it's a tool that will let her produce the same type of demos a lot more quickly.  I use it if I need to crank out a real quick demo for our singers to work out harmonies (we do a lot of our songs in lower keys than the youtube videos).

I would agree with Kevin.. take me to the mountain!!

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