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How to write an awful worship song
I just had to post this as a discussion thread. It's too good. It was not written by me. Please take the time to read this and let's discuss it.
How to Write An Awful Worship Song
So you finally learned to play the guitar and now you’re wondering, “How do I write a truly awful worship song?”
You’ve come to the right place my friend. Here are some sure fire ways to write a truly horrible worship song.
Recycle A Love Song.
Write a song for your girlfriend. When she breaks up with you, convert it into a worship song. Be sure to change all uses of “girl” or “baby”.
Use Time Tested Rhymes.
Make sure that you rhyme “love” and “above” at least twice. The song becomes doubly awful if you can also incorporate the word “dove”. Example: “You sent your love from above, makes my heart feel like a pure white dove.” You get the point.
Be Vague About Your Theology
Make sure to avoid any theology at all costs. Don’t talk about atonement, wrath, or any other biblical concepts. You want your song to be all about feeling. Don’t let the mind get in the way. Repeat after
me: “Worship is a warm feeling, sort of like heartburn, only better.”
Make the Song All About You
The main point of your song should be your experiences and how God makes you feel. Don’t bother with objective truth about God. I would suggest that you use the words “I” or “me” at least 12-15 times. For
example, “I feel like singing, yes I feel like spinning, because You make me feel so good inside. Like it’s my birthday, but more awesome.”
Be Incredibly Poetic
If you can, muddy the waters with poetic phrases that don’t make much sense. Example: “Your love is like a warm summer’s breeze, washing over my heart like a crystal river.”
Use Well-Worn Musical Progressions
If you can, keep your music and melody boring. I would suggest that you use no more than four distinct notes in a song, so that by the time someone is done listening to it they want to scream. A worship scream, but a scream nonetheless. It also helps if you use the chords G, C, and D over and over.
Defend Your Song Like It’s Your Firstborn Child
Do not, I repeat, do not, let anyone make suggestions for improvement. Tell people that God laid the song on your heart. Tell people that you really want to preserve the artistic integrity of the song. Tell people that you already did the song at your campus ministry and that a revival broke out. Don’t take advice from anyone.There you have it. Seven ways to write a terrible worship song. You can thank me later.
What else would you add to the list?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Nicki Black on -
I have to respectfully disagree with many of your points. Why shouldn't worship to the King of Kings be birthed from how He makes us feel? Why should it not be poetic, if that is what the Holy Spirit is wooing from your heart? Why can't it be poetic and personal and still declare scripture? I will stand and defend any song I have written, as they come from my relationship and revelation with my Daddy God. I can look back through my songs and clearly see a journey unfold along my walk with him - from hurting, to lost, to found, to overflowing and replete in His love and mercies. It's all very intimate and personal and without pretense. People relate to truth and raw honesty. And yes, revival and breakthrough happen when you let it all go and just get real with worship. It's often not the song itself, but the person who worships with it. Where is *their* heart?
Is your post sarcastic? I really can't tell here, but my comments are legit.
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Permalink Reply by Stevo on -
Nicki,
Looks mostly like sarcasm and criticism of triteness and cheesy rhyming to me - you, like most country music. I tend to agree with her points, they're sort of over the top to emphasize music that's all of the above but also useless. I don't know why, but Christian music can be so full of junk.
I'm trying to open your music, but Apple is jammed right now and I can't get Quicktime to load. Neat site.
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Permalink Reply by Carri on -
Nicki, This post wasn't written by me although I agree with it or I wouldn't have posted it. Yes it is written with some humor to get the point across in a fun way. I know some will not agree with it and it will ruffle some feathers but that's ok. I hope it gets people thinking.
Think about each point. Don't go to extremes on each point or you will not come to the right conclusion about what the point is making. It doesn't say to not be poetic but poeticism to the extreme is too vague and hard to understand. Please try not to get defensive or hurt as the last point mentions. Not all songs written from our hearts or experiences are meant for everyone else. They may be ok for us and our friends or even as easy listening music in our homes but not for CORPORATE WORSHIP IN A CHURCH SERVICE. That's the main difference. Music in the service must serve the whole body in ways that edify all. It must be rich mainly in objective truth with just some subjective truth mixed in. But today we've made it all about subjective truth and that equates to being "man centered" instead of being "God centered". Please be open minded to the balance of what each point making.
Blessings!
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Permalink Reply by Stevo on
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Recycle Biblical phrases and string them together in a clever way without regard for how they connect or flow. I've seen way too many "scripture songs" that just take English translations word for word and form songs around them. It rarely works well.
And don't worry that you've never experienced any of it before.
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Permalink Reply by Nicki Black on
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I have experienced those examples. I just trust they came from the heart.
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Permalink Reply by Rick Cogbill on
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Hey Nicki, I know what you're saying. I would say that most worship songs come from the heart - why else would someone write one? But I think it's also valid to say that not everything that a person comes up with is ready for the bigger picture. As Carri says, some things are best for personal worship and others are geared for a larger audience. As worship leaders, we are't there to have a "personal" time of worship; it's a corporate time that we are personally involved in.
My beef with many worship songs is their predictability. When you can hear a song for the first time and basically complete every sentence after the first two words, then it seems to me that the songwriter was being more than a tad lazy. I think the Lord deserves a little more creativity on our part.
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Permalink Reply by Stevo on
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Well, I'm thinking of all those Maranatha tunes that used to come streaming out of every speaker at the Christian book stores and often played in auditoriums before church or Christian seminars. It's like they came off an assembly line in Grand Rapids somewhere. Christian junk-mail music is what it really is. Now if someone really gets a burden from scripture and a beautiful melody to go with it, that's a different thing. But even then, English translations weren't usually written with melody and metre in mind.
I hate that I can read the Bible and it can tear my heart in two and I can listen to The Band sing Blind Willie McTell and it can bring tears to my eyes, but Christian song writers rarely do it for me. There's something missing most of the time.
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Permalink Reply by Lorraine Doswell on -
Spent two years writing your song 'til you think it is perfect, and tell everyone you woke during the night and it just came into your head!
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Permalink Reply by Wayne Pau on -
*haha*.
I remember attending a worship writing workshop by Matt Redman like 10 years ago... he had a amazing joke/story. He was talking about being appropriately humble when writing songs:
New Author: So how do you like my new song?
Matt Redman: Wow, your new song is really good.
New Author: Aw.. thanks. I can't really take any credit at all. It was God. He wrote it. He just revealed it to me...
Matt Redman: (under his breath) well it wasn't *that* good.
I've got to admit, Matt Redman is one of the most humble men I've ever met. He even admitted to the entire audience that he didn't realize that Thank You/Once Again had 9 of the same first notes, and he didn't realize it at the time because he chords kept changing in the verse (but the melody stayed the same). Great sense of humor.
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Permalink Reply by Lorraine Doswell on
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Love it.
I got my guitar out sang Thank You/Once Again - you are right :) I didn't realise either, I guess 'cos I put a couple of extra notes in. Having said that, I still wouldn't have noticed mind.
It's amazing how a different sequence of chords can completly change the dynamics of a song even though the melody stays the same. Sometimes you don't even recognise that the melody is the same until it is pointed out to you. I have to admit, there have been occasions when I have had to write the melody for a psalm to be used the following Sunday and I have used this method to cheat and make the song sound interesting, but enabling me not to forgot the tune : 0
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Permalink Reply by Benjamin Luce on -
I do pretty-much agree with most of the points, however, I don't really like the spirit behind the post as a whole. There is a superiority thing going on here, if you ask me. I am a judgemental, sarcastic person by nature... been working on it... so I know what I'm looking at. I'm not really comfortable mixing that kind of spirit with talking about worship songs. I don't write many songs 'cause I work too much, but I think I know what works, generally, for corporate worship. Simple songs are often the best ones, although "deeper" songs are sometimes great as well. But, worship comes down to your heart to God's. Whether you sing 5 words or 500 is irrelevant to Him. If you think God is impressed by/pleased with a finely crafted song, you are delusional. Worship IS about God, right? Not about pleasing a jerk like me. Sorry if I'm a little touchy here, but I guess this post just strikes me wrong, you know? ehhhh, you know I love you guys, though, right? ttyl...
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Permalink Reply by Nicki Black on
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Well said, Benjamin. I love that you said that God doesn't care whether you sing 5 or 500 words. That's exactly right! I think if every songwriter was given the Simon Cowell treatment, then good grief, so many hearts would be broken and defeated and many would never try to write again. I can speak to this personally, as I spent a lot of years under leadership and peer relationships that were neither kind nor edifying, and I know what it did to my spirit. Back to music, not every song was meant for radio play, but frankly, the "formula" for getting on the radio doesn't appeal to me at all. I don't want to worship to something that's "perfected" with the hook in exactly the right place. I want the raw worship that's full of heart and soul, and makes me think about each word that's being sung.
But judging someone's heart isn't the right road, in general. We become Christians and worship warriors (and often targets) on the front lines of ushering in the Holy Spirit because we're made to bring light and love, pointing people toward the Father's heart. We're not made to worship with our happy unconditional face on stage, and then off stage to judge others or rewrite their music. Mentoring and teaching is one thing - a good thing. Belittling is another animal. To be honest, I'm always grieved in my spirit when I read so much negativity and nit-picking on this site, or hear it elsewhere in any other circles. It's politics we don't need. How does that help our witness or draw us closer in love? We all have to remember that even though we might not be personally moved or made closer in our walk by any given song, the same song just might bring a fresh revelation to someone else. Art is also subjective. How awesome is the Lord to make us all so dynamically different!
So anyway, I think like anything else, if something doesn't speak to you, then turn the channel or don't buy the CD. If you're asked for help, then give it in love and not to tear down. Honor the intent, if the intent is pure. Lots of good points in this thread, overall. Oh, and btw, I wasn't offended in my first reply. It's sometimes hard understanding or conveying the correct tone of a comment in writing, so I wanted to clarify that.
Peace. :-)
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