I haven't been on this site for over a year and tonight I thought I would take a peek at what is going on in worship the past few months and there it was, "kicked out of ministry.... dreadlocks."
Let me tell you my story.
I have been a volunteer worship leader for 4 years. I had to deal with someone on my worship team (Terry) who along with his son (Ryan) tore me down saying that I go flat all the time, I am sharp some of the time, I move around too much on the platform, the songs we sing are out of date (which they aren't, most of them are on CCLI's top 50) and I needed to be replaced. I had another run in with Ryan (he was dating my niece) and it was something minor.
Terry, his wife and Ryan got mad over some issues at the church and left. Terry was the type of person who served on deacon boards at different church's and he let it be known that at some other church's he had to let the pastor know who was in charge. They had to get rid of pastors.
After leaving the church he told a board member that on of the reasons they left was because I had sent Ryan messages on facebook and jumped him out over a half a dozen times. All of that was a lie. I sent
Terry a letter and told him what a liar he is and jumped him out about some other things in the process. Terry took the letter to a board member and they called me in about it and asked me to step aside from leading worship and I could return when they saw a change in my attitude.
After several weeks I sent one board member a meassage about returning and told him that their decision was inconsistent on what they had done. For example, one of the boys leaders was swimming in a river with 4 or 5 boys and they went skinny dipping. They told him not to do it again or they would remove him. They were breaking the law and that was fine. The church secretary has jumped the pastor out and caused him stress that led to him having a heart attack. Because her and her husband are probably the biggest givers in the church they won't do anything about it.
I asked them 3 times if everyone has to follow the same rules and gave them examples and they said, "yes" and that isn't the case. There are tons more examples I can give you. I am the pastors brother and I told them, the rules are different for me and they denied it.
HELP, HOW WOULD YOU HANDLE THIS? I have asked them to meet with me and I'm waiting a response. If they refuse, I'll ask a second time. If they refuse, according to Matt 18, I can publically confront them and that is what I'll do.
TD...why are you not replying to these comments?
You have thrown down the gauntlet here brother. Many of the respondents here feel your pain, and are trying to advise.
I have sought ministry elsewhere, and have found peace. Make sure you understand what your issues are before moving on.
Checkout Gene Edwards book http://www.amazon.com/Exquisite-Agony-Originally-titled-Christians/...
Gene has much wisdom to glean here. It's a very small paperback that packs a punch bro.
Rory Norland's books are also a great read for artist to glean from. These helped me greatly to understand the how''s and whys.
May I ask why you would bother to defer to Matthew 18 when you're clearly involved in a church that is not operating according to Scripture? Churches that aren't set up Biblically aren't going to pay attention to Matthew 18:15-17 unless it suits them to do so. Let it go. They have their reward. Instead, look to your own walk with the Lord and find a place that stands on God's Word. In regard to Matthew 18, next time a Brother offends you, go to speak with him privately (don't send him a letter calling him a liar). If he won't listen, try again bringing a Brother or two with you. If he still won't listen, well...you know how it goes, eh?