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A funny thing happened on the way to the podium
Last Tuesday we were in worship practice and got hit by a spirit of ... LAUGHTER! Soon everyone was laughing so hard, I was crying, my ribs were aching and my guitar was out of tune.
Not that that's anything new. ...
Heard a good one? PUT IT HERE!
:-)
Smile, God loves you.
Not that that's anything new. ...
Heard a good one? PUT IT HERE!
:-)
Smile, God loves you.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Dave Hartwell on -
Q. What's the most spiritual guitar chord?
A. Gsus.
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Permalink Reply by Warren L. Gilmore on -
LOL!!
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Permalink Reply by Dave Hartwell on
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A visiting pastor wanders into a back alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.
"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," Says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."
"You can keep the story, thank you," He replies, "But I'll take the rat."
The transaction complete, the pastor leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him.
By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him.
Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown. Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop.
"Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," Says the owner.
"No," says the pastor, "I was wondering if you have a bronze Electric Guitar Player."
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Permalink Reply by Dave Hartwell on
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No karaoke for you! Bad wiring spells tone-deaf
Tue Aug 18, 8:07 pm ET
Do your friends cover their ears when you sing along with the radio? Does the choir director ask you to lip-sync?
If you're one of the unlucky people who is tone-deaf, it turns out your brain may have a wiring problem. ...
more...
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Permalink Reply by Dave Hartwell on
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C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we
don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth
between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out
flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp
enough.
D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a
second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this
relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at
the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've
found in this bar tonight."
E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined
shoes. The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this
could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit
and everything else, and is au natural.
Eventually, C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C
is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a
minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale
correctional facility. On appeal, however, C is found innocent of any
wrongdoing, even accidental. The judge rules that all contrary motions are
bassless.
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Permalink Reply by Rick Cogbill on
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That is too brilliant to be classified as a joke! Great writing!
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Permalink Reply by David Prentice on -
Have you heard the one about the soundman who was hard of hearing?....Neither did he.... OOOOHHH....
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Permalink Reply by Rob Swanson on -
funny stuff
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Permalink Reply by Dave Hartwell on
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The Worship Leader's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting the worship service. One day, she asked him why.
'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his ministry, 'I'm asking the Lord to help me lead a good worship service.'
'So, how come He doesn't?' she asked.
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